Giving birth to Ava last year was such an exciting, beautiful, and terrifying moment of my life. Of course, I had 9 months to prepare for life’s changes that were coming my way, but I think most moms would agree that there is truly no way to prepare for the complete life overhaul that comes along with being welcomed into motherhood.
In one moment I transformed from Melissa to Mama. I went from a person capable of taking care of her own basic needs to a milk machine obsessing over my little creatures basic needs. I went from spending 50+ hours a week working and commuting to unemployed. I went from a social person to an isolated stay at home mom. I went from having a sense of independence to the heartbeat of my little family, everyone depended on me.
Throughout 2016 I struggled with trying to balance caring for my fragile baby and finding personal fulfillment in this new role. If I’m being frank, I spent most of the year feeling lost. I’ve always been a person who associated who I am with the work I do and my professional development has always been a big part of my identity. To suddenly find myself isolated at home everyday and knowing I couldn’t just pick my career back up where I left it, even if I wanted to, was unnerving. As a result, I tried a lot of different things, wore many different hats. Most weren’t a good fit, but I’m thankful for the support from my family, friends, and most of all my husband for supporting me as I rediscover who I am.
“You will never have to force anything that’s truly meant to be.” This is a lesson I’ve really focused on through my self discovery. I’m not typically the kind of person who has an easy time throwing in the towel and accepting a venture or goal as a lost cause, however, learning to take a step back when something begins to feel forced has helped me to realize I was off track from the path God has planned for me. I truly believe the opposite is true as well, that when you are on the right track, things will fall into place right before your eyes.
As fate would have it, this is what began to happen right as the new year came and has set me up for some big goals for 2017. I’ve finished my classes, passed my exam and am ready to start a new career in Real Estate. We’ve completely decluttered our house and are determined to maintain a more minimalistic lifestyle. The joy that I get out of our house being clean is enormous; I had no idea how much stress this was causing me. I’m also trying to cook more meals and get our lives on a healthier track. But more than anything, I want to focus on figuring out who I am as a person, mom, wife, and professionally. So here’s to 2017 and the excitement a fresh start has to offer!